How and Why I Decided to Have a Love Affair?

On the night of April 4, 2012, I have made a life-changing decision. I have decided to have a love affair. This was after my husband of almost 5 years now told me he can't leave the city for the long weekend  because he had a lot of catching up to do with work. Although my husband and I don't really see eye to eye on our ideas on what a vacation is, being able to spend time with him would have been so much more preferable than sleeping the holidays away. His idea of a vacation is to stay indoors in a resthouse in a nearby city. My idea of a vacation is well... to go out, see new places, experience new things. I was so heart-broken when he said we can't leave. I have been looking forward to the long weekend for months. Out of the brokenness of my heart and the shattered holiday dreams I was having came my decision to have a love affair.

Since he can't leave, either I leave alone or sulk and feel sorry for myself until the next vacation time comes. I gladly chose the former. I decided I will leave alone. I told him right before sleeping on Wednesday night that I wanted to go and see Ilocos. I have never been there before. In fact, I can easily count with my fingers the number of times I have been away from home. My parents used to not let me travel. Now that I'm married, going out without him seemed like a real waste of time.

Anyway, it's been decided. I will have a love affair. I packed my bag while Juval was sleeping. I stuffed my bag with a few clothes, some cash, my IDs, a personal care kit and some other things. I wanted my packing done right away... before I changed my mind... before my resolve to be in this love affair be forever undone.

I waited nervously for him to wake up. All the while I was preparing for the trip Eat, Pray, Love was on HBO so I took it as a sign. I will eat, I will pray and I will love in Ilocos. When he woke up, I had to steel myself and tell him I was dead serious about wanting to go on a trip, alone if I have to. He said I just have to make sure I'd take care of myself. I knew he wasn't comfortable with the idea of me travelling alone but he knew I'm at a point where I've already made up my mind about something and there's no going back.

A couple of hours later, I was already on board a bus which will take me to Laoag. I printed out a copy of my intended itinerary for my husband so he'd know where I'd be. I kept my promise and texted him every hour or so. I felt like a child on her first day at school, excited and scared at the same time.

Several stop-overs and a few attempts to get off at the wrong terminal which were luckily corrected by the bus conductor, I found myself in Laoag finally. It was 3am and I didn't know where to go from there. Again, Superman in his bus conductor suit saved the day and got me on the right bus to get me to Maoini. I will go to Pagudpud first.

Pagudpud is such a friendly place. I think everyone assumed automatically that people who go on a trip to Ilocos alone must either be broken hearted or just plain mental. I didn't bother explaining myself. I purposely gave vague answers to questions thrown at me. I think they all think I was healing a badly broken heart. Filipinos, being very family-oriented find solo trips quite unusual especially for women.

What I didn't tell anyone was that I went to Ilocos to have a love affair. Being in a profession which requires me to deal with human emotions, frailties and eccentricities can be taxing not only to the body and the mind but more so to the heart. I have decided to have a love affair with solitude for a few days at a time. I have decided to have some me-time, some time alone, some time to not have to attend to anyone else's needs but just my needs.

With the kind of love affair I have decided to start having, I'd go back home balanced, refreshed, full of life again and able to love even more. I'd only be here in this time, place and situation once, I have to make a difference if not in the lives of millions but at least to the ones I come across with everyday.

As for my husband, he'd be nervous again when I tell him I plan to go to another trip somewhere alone again. He would see that fire in my eyes which say I won't take no for an answer. He would reluctantly say yes again and all the while praying to God Almighty that I may not get off at the wrong terminal again. He would check on me and monitor my whereabouts through the net in a stalker-like fashion. He would say yes because he would know I'd be an even better wife when I come back. He'd say yes because we'd both be happier if he does. This is why I married him. Cliche as it may be but he completes me. Happy Monday evening!