When our children come, Juval and I won't go out as often anymore. We'd be losing sleep all the time. I won't be able to visit my favorite shops as often. He won't be able to pick me up from the office when I have a bad day. We'll worry about buying diapers at first, then tuition fees, then girlfriends and boyfriends, heartbreaks. The very things our own parents have worried about. Our dreams would no longer be exclusive to the two of us. We're going to have to include those of our kids' too. I would want to be called a cool mom but I would probably not be very cool when our children reach their teens. I would probably be as protective and annoying as my mom was when I younger.
but...
We still want to have children. We want to see little Juvals and little Jodelles running around and making a mess of the house. We want to hear children's laughter. We want to be called Tatay and Nanay or Dad and Mom in English. We want to be able to think, fear, love and decide as parents. We want to impart our learnings to a younger generation and hope that we were able to guide them properly into being proud Filipinos, law-abiding citizens, God-fearing people and most especially, balanced and happy individuals.
until then....
I'll continue visiting my favorite shoe and thrift stores. I'll ask him to pick me up after I had a bad day at work. I'll stay acting like I'm his baby. I'll bring him to as many parties and events as I can. I'll have him escort me every time he allows me to get away with it. I'll spend much of my time daydreaming about motherhood. Planning.. hoping... anticipating... being excited...
And I'll love it.
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