Would I want to remember?

I have recently had the opportunity to be up close and personal with someone who had lost her memory. She had just lost her loved one with whom she had been married for decades. Through all the preparations for the wake and the burial, she remained unfazed, almost stoic. They were telling her her husband had just died and she thought it was her brother. I saw the grief register on her face for but a minute or two then it was gone again. It was then that it struck me. Would I want to remember? Do I envy her or must I dread that it could happen to anyone?
 
Memories of my past loved ones, achievements and even heartaches have always been very dear to me. Sometimes I love people not because of who they are now but because sometime in the past they have been with me. I couldn't imagine having to die with all my memories lost. I fear the inability to remember how me met, how we fell in love, our wedding day, the fights we had just before we got to wed, how beautiful the flowers were and how I was the most beautiful woman in the church that day and My husband was the most handsome groom I have ever seen.

 I still haven't answered my own question. Would I want to remember? Or would it be better to not remember at all so I would be spared the pain of knowing what I have lost. Up to this very day, I still cry over my lost parents. Sometimes, the pain just hits me so hard especially when my defenses are not up. Sometimes, it can be because it is drizzling or that I heard a song that I once sang with my Mom or my Dad. Sometimes, their friends would tell us stories about them which are absolutely the opposite of the version we were told. I still long to ask them questions, to clarify things, to ask if I have made them proud. Sometimes...

Sometimes, it helps to remember the happy times. Sometimes, it helps to remember the sad ones when I need the burst of energy to follow through something. But most of the time, the void that was left when they left just becomes too big, too hallow, too much to bear. 

Would I want to remember? Would it be worth it to remember? I don't know.