Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Happily ever afters

Last night, my youngest sister was talking to me about a song that had recently become one of her favorites. The song talked about the writer's cynical take on happy endings and fairy tales. It brought me to thinking about my own ideas on and of happily ever afters.

When I was younger, it seemed much too easy to give advice left and right. I never ran out of people to give an advice or two to for some reason. I was sure I was doing them a favor. I was sure I was giving sound advice. This was all before painful eye-openers have been presented to me by life. This was all during a time when I thought my happily every afters are fated to come to me regardless of what I do and that some people are meant to breeze through life and I was one of them. How foolish I was.

Years of heartaches and heartbreaks after, I have slowly become a different person. Now, every time something painful and shattering happens to me, I try to seek answers inside of me before anything else. I know it's contrary to what most people will suggest. Most people will want to speak to others, ask for their opinions and most importantly, give them instructions on how to survive. At times of heartaches, people are naturally inclined to seek the warmth of another human body, the acceptance of one soul for another and forgiveness when necessary so their healing process may begin.

I operate a little differently. I seek inwards. I talk to myself about what I'm going through. I forgive and ask forgiveness from myself for wrong decisions that I make. Sometimes, when I'm being very cooperative with myself, I even find peace because I get to be able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. When I understand how and why things became what they have become, then my healing process begins. When my healing process begins, I am able to come up with a plan to be prepared for a similar situation in the future. When I have a plan, I feel guided. I feel I have a purpose.

I think I prefer to look inside rather than seek answers outside because I believe I have the key to prevent the same painful experience from taking place again if I choose right. Of course, there are things that I cannot control but at least, I can prepare for them. I believe we were all given the ability to do better at everything we do if we put our minds to it. I believe there is no greater measure of being truly human than being able to make mistakes, correct them and learn from them.

I have become more patient, more understanding, more forgiving and more loving because of heartaches and heartbreaks. I have become a little less judgmental of people's choices. I have become a little less cynical about happy endings and fairy tales although my life story will no longer be about fairy godmothers coming to rescue me from pains I have brought upon myself or about a knight in shining armor kissing all my woes away and bringing me with him to chase the sunset in perfect bliss. I know now my happily ever afters can take place with a little work, a little more faith, a little more love, a little more wisdom from an untiring work-in-progress called myself.

Yes, I do believe in happily ever afters. I hope you all find yours. Happy Thursday!

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